If I get to the meeting location first it isn’t personal.  Twice I’ve arrived 5 minutes early for a meeting this week and had the sales rep annoyed. And showed it! Before we’d even been introduced!  Seriously?  If you wanted to buy the coffee, buy yours and grab a gift card.  Don’t get annoyed!

READ our website.  Seriously. Please.  Develop a list of questions before the meeting and see if any of the answers are on the website.  I had one person tell me proudly that he had read the site.  But then he didn’t understand  the service my client provides.  Foolishly, I started worrying we hadn’t written that page clearly.  After several minutes, he finally confessed that he “looked” at it but didn’t get into the detail.  Come on people!

You know how sales trainers tell you to repeat back what the person says to show you were listening?  Unless you are a Freudian therapist, turning the exact words I said into a question is annoying, not demonstrating you were listening.  One sales rep asked about our target audience.  I answered and he said, “so I hear you saying [insert my exact words], right?” Without some interpretation or at least changing the order of the words, he was just a parrot.  Not someone understanding what I needed.

So, the morale here is listen to sales trainers but be smart, think about the intent of the training and be sure to be respectful.  A sales call isn’t about YOU – it is about THEM.  Or if you want to work with my clients, its about ME.  And I get there early. Deal with it.

1. If you find something interesting, stick your whole face in to really investigate it. Sometimes you will be unhappy with what gets on your nose, but more often it is something fascinating!

2. Dream big – some day you really might catch the bunny if you just stick to it and believe you can.

3. Leave your mark in many places (I know, this is gross but go with me) –  the more people who know you were there the better!

4.  Move quickly and decisively. Don’t dilly dally around.

5. If you come to a decision point, consult those you need to and make a quick decision. Even if you don’t get to go the way you want, moving forward is better than standing still.

6. Following the same course on a regular basis is fine but periodically, change it up! Going out of your comfort zone may yield new things to experience (see #1).

7. If there is something new on your route, it is important to notice, investigate (again, see #1) and know what it is about. Knowing your market is key.

8. If someone new comes along, greet them as a friend first. Offer to play, be nice, show you are a good guy. You never know what they have to offer.

9. If someone else is walking as well, be sure you keep up. Getting left behind isn’t fun – and you may have to drag your cohorts with you to do it.

10. Always clean up your messes. It isn’t right to leave them and they may end up in someone else’s space which is not being a good neighbor.

11. Just because the big dogs walked there, doesn’t mean you have to as well. Sometimes it is good to know where they went and go somewhere else. Why try to compete with that?

I bring this up because this has happened to me a number of times lately. Either I was the speaker or I was an attendee who got to spend a great deal of time with the speaker because the organizer didn’t show up early. For the one the organizer got there right before it started and the other he arrived on time but then had to get coffee, etc. so we didn’t start on time. So what did they communicate?

In both cases someone sitting near me said, “I’ll have to remember this the next time I’m rushing to get here”. Great. Now at the next meeting of this group someone else isn’t going to show up on time. In one meeting someone took the initiative to make sure everyone was introduced and had a short discussion on why they were there. When the organizer sat down, she was already behind and everyone looked to the guy who had introduced them to run the meeting. Loss of respect was NOT what she was going for at that meeting!

So what should have happened? If you are in charge, get there early. That isn’t a big deal, just schedule the meeting 30 minutes earlier in your calendar. Next, have a plan for what happens when people get there. Will they sign in, will they be introduced to someone, etc. Finally, be sure you own the meeting and run it. Clearly people came when you called, so they already have a reason to listen. Be sure to make it worth their while so they will come back the next time.

Imagine for a moment what he has to accomplish.  His immediate customers are his residents and they have to be comfortable, safe, taken care of and be able to live their lives the way they choose. But then, you also have to figure in his service to their families because as we age more and more people are involved in our care. In addition, you have the community and the Masons who all have opinions on what he’s doing and how. He has to answer the cold, financial questions about caring for our older population as well as manage the real caring that goes on. And THEN he has to dream of the future and set the strategic vision for the organization.

So other than a huge respect and admiration for Jay, what’s the point Kath?  Well, in your business, how much is your culture on purpose and how much has happened by accident?  By nature Jay is an engaging and thoughtful person. It is part of why he has the job he does. But you have characteristics that are why you have your job as well.  Do you remember what they are?  Do you review customer interactions in the context of how your culture is being communicated?  Not to belabor the point, but for instance. If Jay asked one of his residents to help another, they would do so because that is the culture he has built among his customers.  If you called a client and asked them to help another client, would they agree?  Are you enough of a part of their organization that you could do that?

Or think about this. Each time you pick up the phone, what are you thinking?  ”I don’t have time for this call” or “What does the caller ID tell me?” or “Cool! Who could this be?”.  You know there are people out there that say, “cool! I have YOU on the phone”.  Do you give that feeling to your customers?  Or do they hear, the caller ID told me it is you – what do you want?

Culture has to be deliberate and it carries through to more than just your internal team especially if you are a small business.  Your customers should be able to describe your culture and have it match your strategic goals. Just like Jay’s.

So what? Well, I’m not the only one who goes through this. Sometimes when something feels daunting, the right answer is to just try. Make sure you don’t have anything that could really screw you up first (for instance, back up the source code before you start editing – learned that one a long time ago) and then go to town.

What I also learned is those “experts” I consulted used jargon because they didn’t know it well enough to say things in plain English. So if someone throws out a lot of jargon, ask them to explain and if they can’t, they aren’t really an expert. Also, trust yourself. You know a lot more than you give yourself credit.

Next time I will try it. After all, how else do you learn?

What do you mean, Kath? Well, let’s say you are frustrated that your employees don’t innovate enough. Rather than look at it for the seven hundredth time as how to “fix” the employees, take a look at yourself. Do you always come up with a bunch of ideas? Is it possible your employees feel like they don’t have to because you will? Or, if they do come up with ideas, do you always have a better one? (I worked for her – it wasn’t her fault, she really did have better ideas. But WOW was that tough on people trying to help!) Maybe it is time to let someone else have the floor even if the idea isn’t the absolute best so they can feel they contributed. Then the next time it isn’t a blow to the ego but a teaming up of ideas.

Or, maybe the problem is someone you work with (or live with) NEVER does a particular thing you want them to do. Have you bothered to find out why not? Maybe there’s a reason. It is possible they just hate doing it which then becomes a question of how badly you want it done by that person. But maybe the problem is how you are asking.

A friend of mine has a great exercise he does with groups. He gives you a piece of paper with a whole bunch of random letters on it like this:

Then he says, “cross out ten letters”. So you dutifully cross out 10 letters. Except if you look at it, the phrase, ” ten letters” is there.

And when you get it right, what’s left is something meaningful. In this case “givers gain” because this was for a BNI meeting and that is their slogan.

The point is, here is a super straight forward directive that actually isn’t.

So I encourage you to take a week and look at your problems with a fresh eye. Ask yourself, where am I in this problem?

So the meeting starts and the facilitator says, “since everyone knows everyone else” and then pauses and looks around the room.  So I said no, I didn’t know anyone in the room. Turns out, NO ONE knew anyone in the room! But not one of those very professional people who were dressed so powerfully said anything. In fact, after the meeting, they THANKED me for being the one to say something.  Are you kidding me?

I have to tell you, I’m always the one to ask questions. In fact, I have been to meetings where friends have passed me notes with questions on them since they know it doesn’t bother me to ask.  But I know because I’ve checked, that just about 98% of the time I ask a question, someone else had the same one. But it wasn’t like we were fighting to get our question out. I asked, the other person sat there, wondering.

So what is this about? What a bizarre situation to be in a meeting, have a question but not ask it.  Is it truly fear?  But of what?  Someone once told me he didn’t ask a question on a tour we were on because he didn’t want to sound stupid (while he was thanking me for asking the question).  So I asked him, did I look stupid? Obviously he didn’t think so because he wouldn’t have thanked me otherwise!

My friend Maia would probably tell me it is a matter of attention. If I have a question and I’m thinking about the consequences of asking it, I’m focused on ME. If I have a question and I’m more concerned about getting the information the room needs out, I’m focused outwardly. (and by the way, being one of the smartest ladies I know, I would be thrilled to hear her say it!)  And I think that is the real way to frame this because I really don’t think people feel true “fear” when asking a question but I do think their attention is focused on themselves and their role in the room rather than on the goal of the event or meeting.

So now that I’ve worked through that process, I ask you.  What do you think? When you are in a meeting, are you focused on you or on the meeting?  Do you ask questions? And how do we help people ask those questions they need answered so they don’t get left behind?   Not to mention could this mean the end of the meeting after the meeting?

This story bugs me every time I receive it and I get it A LOT.  Honesty and integrity are truly wonderful and important and if there was more of it in the world we would all be happier.  But in this particular tale, I see all kinds of problems.  For instance, why didn’t the guy just go to the CEO and discuss the situation? Why would you spend an entire year working on a project, doing the same things day after day (because it says right in it that he watered and fed his seed, etc.) and NEVER ask a question or discuss the project with his boss. To me, while at the end he did the right thing, throughout the project he demonstrated a determined lack of communication and analyzing the situation!  In real life, do you really want a CEO who follows the same path, regardless of results?

And what about those evil lying wretches who swapped their seeds for living ones?  So here are a group of people who got a project and never considered collaboration.  Great CEOs, right?  Rather than go to their potential management team, since in theory they wouldn’t fire everyone who “failed”, and discuss what could be done, or – WAIT – OMG – create something even better by figuring out what their plants were and growing them in a way they created a higher yield as a TEAM thereby figuring out that all the seeds were dead, they kept their project to themselves, hiding the results until the end.  What a fabulous culture this place has!

So as far as I’m concerned, this is NOT a good story about business. This is a story about old business models that have proven to lack even the slightest creativity. I would never work in this place!  I would much rather see a story about one person tweeted about his project, his followers let him know his results were because his seed was dead, he took that to the CEO and explained that while the project as given was designed to fail, he felt there were ways to introduce new resources that would produce better results, teamed up with his colleagues and they grew enough food to stock the local food bank for several months.  He became the CEO because he displayed honesty and integrity, but also out-of-the-box thinking, good use of resources, and built a team. At the end of the story EVERYONE wanted him to be CEO having seen what he could accomplish and the company went on to flourish, much like the garden in the story.

What about you – what’s your take?  Here’s the full text of the story:

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.  Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. “The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued. “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.
I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one  I choose will be the next CEO.”

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.  Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.  By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn’t have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by — still nothing in Jim’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn’t say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil – He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.  Jim told his wife that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful — in all shapes and sizes.. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.  Jim just tried to hide in the back. “My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO. “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!”

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!”

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!

His name is Jim!” Jim couldn’t believe it.. Jim couldn’t even grow his seed.

“How could he be the new CEO?” the others said.

Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!”

This morning, as usual, I started to close a phone call and Fritz was sitting up, ready to go play / walk / do something. Since we have only worked together for nine months, I was surprised at how quickly I came to expect this behavior. But from Fritz’s perspective, how did he learn what the end of a phone call sounded like? He can’t understand the words and he certainly doesn’t understand what that black thing that is constantly near mom’s head is, so how did he learn? HE OBSERVED. He knew what he wanted (my attention) and he observed what happens right before he could get it. Now he also did experiments – climbing up my chair at various intervals – but he quickly learned that the black thing took precedence. But he also learned over time that there was a certain cadence to my voice as I wrap up a call. “Great! Talk to you soon! Bye” translates to “now I can pay attention Fritz” in his mind.

Okay – that’s all nice Kath, but so what? Well, if you are a small business owner, it is a good bet you don’t have a magic mirror that lets you see into your customer’s operations. You don’t know what they are doing when they finally pay attention to you. So what can you observe? What can you take from Fritz and use yourself to learn how to be ready just at that moment the customer has to choose to make another phone call or pay attention to you? How can you be sitting up ready to play?

The advantage you hold is your ability to communicate. Fritz can’t ask me “what is that black thing and why do you care?” but you can. Talk to your customers about how they made the decision to come to you. How did they remember you were the solution to their problem? What trigger led them to notice you were ready to play?

Think about it, call your customers, try some experiments. For me, well, it is time to go throw the toy in the yard.

My dog, Fritz

This is Fritz, my dog, at 12 weeks. He is still adorable and very smart and since I work alone, I spend a lot of time with him. He knows A LOT about The Pedestal Group.  We go for a walk every morning around 7:30 (and if you see me, don’t look too closely – I generally don’t do my hair for these walks so it is very flat) and I get to watch Fritz manage his business and for the record, in his business I am strictly support staff. Today, I realized his approach to management is a great one so here goes Fritz’s 10 recommendations to manage your business:

1. If you find something interesting, stick your whole face in to really investigate it. Sometimes you will be unhappy with what gets on your nose, but more often it is something facinating!

2. Dream big – some day you really might catch the bunny if you just stick to it and believe you can.

3. Leave your mark in many places (I know, this is gross but go with me) –  the more people who know you were there the better!

4.  Move quickly and decisively. Don’t dilly dally around.

5. If you come to a decision point, consult those you need to and make a quick decision. Even if you don’t get to go the way you want, moving forward is better than standing still.

6. Following the same course on a regular basis is fine but perioically, change it up! Going out of your comfort zone may yield new things to experience (see #1).

7. If there is something new on your route, it is important to notice, investigate (again, see #1) and know what it is about. Knowing your market is key.

8. If someone new comes along, greet them as a friend first. Offer to play, be nice, show you are a good guy. You never know what they have to offer.

9. If someone else is walking as well, be sure you keep up. Getting left behind isn’t fun – and you may have to drag your cohorts with you to do it.

10. Always clean up your messes. It isn’t right to leave them and they may end up in someone else’s space which is not being a good neighbor.